Obligatory doing-coke-off-a-mirrored-table scene!.Sorry, I know I’m saying “Remember ?” a lot, but remember using the word “lates” as a form of “goodbye”?.Shit starts hitting the fan with the cops as the Bling Ring begins making the news, but Rebecca is unwilling to stop stealing from celebs and convinces Mark and Chloe to hit Rachel Bilson’s house with her.I repeat: Marc has brought the Facebook fedora to the club. Marc has brought the Facebook fedora to the club.club in 2013 and seeing a bunch of literal children next to you? I would be very mad, particularly if I had paid a cover. I’m sorry, can you imagine being in a hip downtown L.A.Bottle service with a lit sparkler in it, baby!.Nicki and Sam tell Leslie Mann and their dad (who is literally only in this one scene) that all their new clothes are coming courtesy of their “stylist” friend Marc.They find a gun at a celeb’s house and Sam sneaks into her boyfriend’s house with it, where it accidentally goes off, and then they hook up, because-to be fair-fear can be an aphrodisiac.The teens sell their stolen wares on the Venice boardwalk, presumably using the money for cocaine and Starbucks.There’s another very long, far-off scene in which Rebecca and Marc sneak into her house in the Hills, and while I don’t understand why it does, in fact, go on for quite so long, who am I to question Coppola? Next robbing victim on the books is Audrina Patridge.Very long scene of Marc in a skinny scarf, lip-syncing into his computer’s Photo Booth and smoking weed, that I inexplicably love.DUI scene set to “Bad Girls” by M.I.A.? Yep, that’s 2013 for you.Remember the Hervé Léger bandage dresses? Yeah, you do.Time for Emma Watson’s most immortal line in this entire movie: “I wanna rob.”.At yet another red-cups party, Nicki and Sam are jealous that Marc and Rebecca went to Paris’s without them, and they all agree to go back together.Break-in #1 happens at Paris’s, where there’s a “club room,” pillows bearing her face, and a whole lot of material goods to covet.At one point, the real-life Paris Hilton flashes onscreen wearing a pair of sunglasses that say “I Time for a Secret-infused homeschool class at the Moore residence, complete with a tiny dog, Uggs, and pink Juicy sweatsuits.OMG, Marc is wearing a fedora in his Facebook profile picture.Emma Watson and Taissa Farmiga dancing to “212” by Azealia Banks is now forever my brain’s screensaver.Even the way she applies lip gloss is masterful. God, Emma Watson is brilliant in the role of Nicki.Anyway, they do drugs and take Facebook pictures. Marc, Rebecca, and Chloe meet Nicki and Sam at a club, leading me to wonder if it was really that normal to have obvious teenagers in clubs during this era of L.A.Then they drive around in a stolen car while wearing fancy sunglasses, as you do. Next stop is Kitson, which, if you’re not up-to-date on what that once-hip celeb boutique has turned into, read up on it.I guess they probably return the car before the family comes back, offscreen, but.isn’t grand theft auto, like, something the cops would notice? neighborhoods, but soon they’ve graduated to lifting cash and a car (?) from the house of a guy Marc knows who’s on vacation with his family. Marc and Rebecca start out stealing from unlocked cars in rich L.A.
#THE BLING RING MOVIE#
This movie is truly a flashback-inducing sensory bath. I miss high school! (J.K., I absolutely do not.)
We flash back to her and her sister, Sam (Taissa Farmiga, a.k.a. “I’m a firm believer in karma,” purrs Emma Watson as Nicki Moore, a thinly veiled Alexis Neiers, outside a courthouse. Vuitton! Hermès! Louboutin! A montage of the real-life burgled celebrities! Hollywood, baby!.May I humbly submit to the record that this is the perfect running song? We open on a group of teens dressed in clearly expensive hoodies, breaking into a luxe home as “Crown on the Ground” by Sleigh Bells plays.In other words, it’s basically cousins with Lady Bird and Midsommar.
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